MANual Entries: Agreeable Disagreements

Whenever I'm tempted to lecture the boys, I start a new "MANual" section.  They don't want to be lectured anyway.   

“The MANual” is a guidebook, written with love, to help my boys become the fabulous men that they are destined to be.   It is a work in progress.  My boys roll their eyes at me, but if they didn't, it would mean I'm not doing my job right.

March 5^th: WIN-WIN

4th of July 2011

I don't mind arguing with myself. It's when I lose that it bothers me.
-Richard Powers

WAYS TO END AN ARGUEMENT

• Losing sucks!
• Winning is good! But at what cost? What if the relationship with your opponent is important to you.
• Sometimes there is a solution that is better than winning. Look for a way that both parties can leave the argument happy. Maybe it will be a compromise. Maybe you will agree to disagree. Or maybe you will find a solution that is better than you ever imagined.

March 6^th: LISTEN IF YOU WANT TO BE HEARD

Halloween 2011

When I'm getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say -- and two-thirds thinking about him and what he is going to say. -Abraham Lincoln Make an effort to understand your opponent. Really listen and try to understand their point of view. Find some common ground. Find a way to validate something he or she said. If they feel like they have been heard, they are more likely to hear your side.

March 7^th: TREAT YOUR OPPONENT WITH RESPECT 

Crazy Folks!

If you want to win an argument, treat your opponent with respect . . .

• Do you like to be interrupted? Then don't interrupt.
• Do you listen to crazy hysterical people? Then try not to sound (or look ←) like a crazy hysterical person.
• Do you like it when people insult you or your opinions? Then don't them or theirs.

March 8^th: DESPITE YOUR FABULOUSNESS, 

THERE MAY YET BE MORE TO LEARN

A deep thinker

Truth springs from argument amongst friends. David Hume Now, this section might not be necessary for a regular boy, but you are no regular boy. You are an incredibly intelligent boy and you know it. That is the problem! You do not realize that you can continue to grow in your fabulousness and knowledge. Keep an open mind, and you may learn from your opponent and come to an even deeper understanding of the issue.

March 9^th: WHY ARGUE?

It's “affect” not “effect” you idiot! (Scout and Cuzzy)	Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs. -Jack Lynch
	Whenever two good people argue over principles, they are both right. -Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
	It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. -William G. McAdoo
	I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. -Dave Barry